Credit: 20th Century Fox/Marvel Entertainment; from Deadpool 2 (2018)
Where we count down the worst to the best of Deadpool 2’s own “super-dupper group,” and see whether or not they really lived up to their x-pectations.
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Well, this is a little embarrassing. After watching all those Deadpool 2 trailers and teasers, and witnessing all the awesomeness and hilarity to come, there was one thing about the film all of us were very excited to see. Okay, aside from watching Ryan Reynolds reprise his role as the Merc With A Mouth for the second time. (No, X-Men Origins: Wolverine does. not. count!) And Josh Brolin as Cable. And more Colossus and Negasonic Teenage Warhead. I am, of course, talking about the epitome of 1990’s comic book superhero coolness known as X-Force.
Spun off from Marvel Comics’ New Mutants and created by Fabian Nicieza and Rob Liefeld, X-Force are essentially the X-Men without restraints. The paraphrase a line from Deadpool 2, they’re willing to get their hands dirty for the greater good. Typically, they armed themselves with all manner of weapons, especially blades and over-sized guns, and weren’t afraid to use them. Knowing we would finally see them on the big screen was sheer delight.
Thus, before Deadpool 2‘s release, we here at Bam Smack Pow decided it’d be a great idea to rank each member of X-Force (minus Deadpool, of course, because he’d be number one).
And while watching the movie, X-Force seemed even more awesome than advertised. There was Wade Wilson (Ryan Reynolds) and Weasel (TJ Miller), assembling the team via Linkedin and job interviews. The mission to free Russel Collins (Julian Dennison) from the DMC convoy seemed full-proof. They had the cargo plane, the confidence, the parachutes, and even AC/DC’s adrenaline-pumping “Thunderstruck” as their theme music. At long last, X-Force would show general audiences what bad asses us comic geeks all recognized them to be.
And then…? Let’s just say things didn’t exactly go according to plan. In fact, as first missions go, it was a complete disaster. Many an X-Force lover, deep within their stoical souls, broke down into uncontrollable sobbing. The fate of X-Force was tragic; it was also, just like 75 to 80% of Deadpool 2, utterly hilarious.
But darn it all, we at Bam Smack Pow committed ourselves to ranking the members of X-Force, and rank them we shall! It may not be much of a ranking, all things considered, but we might as well give the good old college try, right? Suffice to say, there will be spoilers from this point forward, so if you haven’t seen Deadpool 2 yet, do so before reading further. With that said, let’s start with…
Credit: 20th Century Fox/Marvel Entertainment; from Deadpool 2 (2018)
8. Shatterstar
A word of advice to any of you would-be superheroes. When interviewed for a spot on a team, and the question “What are your super powers?” comes up, don’t answer with, “I’m basically better than you at everything.” You’ll instantly brand yourself as a tool. That’s exactly the first mistake Rusty, a.k.a. Shatterstar (Lewis Tan) made.
Of course, it wouldn’t be so bad if this sword-wielding, maroon-haired, half-alien from the Mojoverse with a penchant for white and half-helmets could actually back up his boast. Instead, he proved the exact opposite, or least that the one thing he sucked at was skydiving. Thanks to some high winds, poor maneuvering skills, and his long, flowing hair blowing in his face, Shatterstar drifted himself into the path of a helicopter, which turned him into so much green goop. But hey! At least he did a comic book style pose on his way down, right?
7. Bedlam
Now when you first think of someone who can disrupt electrical fields, and they cause light bulbs to flicker, you might think, “So?” Then when you realize, as Bedlam (Terry Crews) elaborates, this person is essentially a living EMP bomb, who can also “short-circuit” the bio-electricity of your central nervous system, then they’re arguably one the deadliest mutants on the planet.
Too bad Bedlam doesn’t get the chance to show what his powers are really capable of. Not only is he the first member of X-Force to die, his death isn’t even all that spectacular. Parachuting himself down into the path of an oncoming bus? Really? At least there was still a body left for the paramedics to cart away.
6. Zeitgeist
Just like Deadpool, I don’t know why a guy who vomits acid calls himself Zeitgeist (Bill Skarsgård) either. Then again, the very fact this obscure character was in the movie should have clued me in as to the first X-Force’s ultimate fate. After all, Zeitgeist’s first and only appearance was X-Force #116. In that issue, he was part of a brand-new, more media-friendly version of X-Force. He, along with each one of his teammates, except two, died horrible, gruesome deaths.
In other words, the addition of Zeitgeist on this version of X-Force was, in and of itself, foreshadowing. That’s one reason why he’s not at the bottom. The other is that we actually do see his powers in action. Of course, it’s in reaction to his being mulched by a wood chipper and inadvertently killing one of his own teammates. Come to think of it, why didn’t his barf destroy the wood chipper, too?
Credit: 20th Century Fox/Marvel Entertainment; from Deadpool 2 (2018)
5. The Vanisher
Or should I say Brad Pitt?! That alone is enough to catapult this invisible mutant up several spots. The only reason he isn’t higher is because he (literally) didn’t have enough screen time, or even any dialogue. The only time we do see him is when he’s electrocuted after landing into some power lines. Oh, and here’s a fun fact: Brad Pitt almost landed the role of Cable. If he had, then we wouldn’t have had one of Deadpool 2‘s many surprising and hilarious cameo appearances.
4. Peter
Why is this ordinary, slightly out-of-shape suburbanite with no super powers (Rob Delaney) the fourth best member of X-Force? I could say it’s simply because, like Tom Selleck or Burt Reynolds, he knows how to rock a mustache. Or it could be because, prior to his death by Zeitgeist’s acid, he’s the only true hero of the team.
Think about it. During his interview, he’s completely honest and forthcoming about his lack of powers. He’s the first to point out to Deadpool about the dangerously high winds right before their disastrous skydive. Aside from one other member, he’s the only one who makes a perfect landing despite having never jumping out of a plane before. Finally, he also risks his own personal safety to try to save a teammate. No wonder Deadpool, during the mid-credits scenes, travels back in time to save him.
3. Dopinder
Okay, technically he wasn’t really a member until the end. But hey, if Deadpool can be an “X-Men trainee,” why can’t Dopinder (Karan Soni) be an “X-Force trainee”? After all, this cab-driver/assistant bartender/rookie assassin has come a long way since the first Deadpool. Whereas he was a static character and comic relief in the first film, Dopinder undergoes an actual character arc in the sequel.
In his very first scene, he’s listening to self-help guru and motivational speaker, Tony Robbins, thus establishing early on that Dopinder want to improve himself and follow his dreams. Granted, wanting to become an assassin like Deadpool is a very questionable goal, but it’s a goal nevertheless. That he’s willing to put with taking orders from Weasel, told he can’t join X-Force because he doesn’t have powers (even though Peter, who doesn’t have powers gets accepted), and remains loyal to Deadpool says a lot about him as a friend.
He also does what the other characters fail to do, in that he kills the corrupt, abusive and zealous principal of the Mutant Reeducation Center (Eddie Marsan). In fairness, he did use his cab, and the other characters felt killing him wasn’t worth it. But hey, at least it was enough to earn his place on the team.
Credit: 20th Century Fox/Marvel Entertainment; from Deadpool 2 (2018)
2. Cable
Like Dopinder, Cable (Josh Brolin) himself ends up as a late edition to X-Force during Deadpool 2, if you can even call him a member of the team. That’s because one of the film’s many ironies is that although this time-traveling mutant from a dystopian future founds X-Force in the comics, he doesn’t do so here. He’s actually the main antagonist for at least two-thirds of the movie. In fact, there’s a lot of disparages between Cable on-screen versus Cable on the page.
For starters, Cable’s reason for traveling back in time is very different. In the comics, he travels to the past to stop Apocalypse before he can take over the world. Here, Cable travels back in time to kill the young Russell before his adult future self kills Cable’s family. Moreover, Hope is Cable’s daughter instead of his adoptive daughter like in the comics. Nor is there any mention about Cable being the son of Cyclops (Tye Sheridan) and Jean Grey’s clone, Madelyne Pryor. Or about the fact that he’s telepathic and that his cybernetic parts are an actual virus. There’s not even a mention that Cable’s real name is Nathan Summers.
What Deadpool 2 does get right about Cable is his gruff, hard, cynical demeanor, which Brolin absolutely nails. It’s especially impressive when you compare his performance in this film with his equally excellent role as Thanos in Avengers: Infinity War. It also illustrates how he’s an ideal foil for Deadpool, especially since he’s the most serious-minded person in the movie, even more so than Colossus (Stefan Kapičić).
On top of this, even though Cable and Deadpool are at odds when it comes to Russell, and although the movie does side with Wade, it never does so at Cable’s expense. Considering we’ve had hero vs. hero films such as Captain America: Civil War and Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice, it’s the one time you walk away feeling unsympathetic towards either side. It also makes me more interesting in a potential X-Force movie, especially with Brolin reprising his role as Cable. Maybe then we can learn more about his familial connects with the X-Men.
Credit: 20th Century Fox/Marvel Entertainment; from Deadpool 2 (2018)
1. Domino
There wasn’t doubt in my mind, after watching this movie, that Domino (Zazie Beetz) would rank number one on this list. And no, it’s not just because she, along with Deadpool, is the only founding member of X-Force to survive their first mission. It’s that she all but steals the movie every time she’s on-screen.
In many respects, Domino is very much like Deadpool, only without the fourth wall-breaking and more common sense. That her mutant luck powers have made her into a flippant, devil-may-care mercenary makes her an ideal match for him, and thankfully not of the romantic variety in light of Vanessa’s (Morena Baccarin) death. The way Beetz and Reynolds play off each other, trading sarcastic barbs back and forth, also seem effortless. If Deadpool 2‘s theme is family, then Domino is the bratty (and smarter) twin sister Wade never had.
There’s also a moment in where her backstory unexpectedly ties in with Russel’s. Turns out she grew up in same Mutant Reeducation Center as he did. It may feel like an unnecessary detail, but does give an opportunity to become a true hero as payback. Although, given her powers, it’s curious about how she even wound up there.
Speaking of which, contrary to Deadpool’s assertion, Domino’s luck powers are very cinematic. Not to mention makes a very compelling argument that, the ability not to get hit has a huge advantage of spontaneous regeneration. The first time we see them in action, as cars flip and explode around her as she casually runs down the street, is an amazing combination of stunt coördination and CGI. It also makes for some nice fight choreography, too, combined with a little over-the-top, dark comedy slapstick. All and all, she’s a great addition to Deadpool, and a potential X-Force spin-off.
Well, we did it. We still managed to rank the members of X-Force despite half of them winding up dead, two of them not having powers, and Deadpool not included on the list. Question is, do you agree with it? Do you think X-Force deserved better, or were you okay with who was on the team? I shudder to think what might have happened to Cannonball or Sunspot if they wound up in this movie.