Throwback Thursday: 3 reasons to watch the infamous Batman and Robin
By Mark Lynch
Victor Freeze
For the love of Odin, Arnold Schwarzenegger deserves an award for this. Arnold had to play Dr. Victor Fries who was, wait for it, a two-time Olympic decathlete and an expert in cryogenics and engineering. Seriously? This may be petty, but come on. That’s how they explained why he was so big? Why bother? Just leave it alone. The fact that this was thrown in there was so pointless it was hilarious. Then there are the glorious cold and ice puns. “My passion thaws for my Bride alone.” And everyone’s favorite, “What killed the dinosaurs? The Ice Age!” I defy anyone to watch him and not laugh. Especially when he’s gasping for air in the hot part of his prison cell.
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The dialogue
Beyond the puns, there was so much said in this movie that makes Peter Parker’s dance sequence in Spider-Man 3 look like an Oscar-worthy moment. For example, Robin asked Poison Ivy, “I need a sign that you’ve turned over a new leaf.” Ivy responded with, “How about ‘slippery when wet?'” It’s easy to foget this actually happened. It was probably so ridiculous this writer’s brain didn’t want me to remember. Awful, but entertaining. Reading the line again was hilarious. Uma Tharman played this role well. She delivered her lines and had the sensual walk you’d want her to have. However, she couldn’t escape the goofiness of the script.
The costumes
Comic book costumes are funny looking. The heroes and villains are running around in colorful tights and armor, so they can stand out in a crowd. Batman and Robin took flamboyant costumes to a whole new level. It’s one thing to have leather with Bat-Butt cheeks. What we didn’t need was Bat-Nipples. Who sat down and said, “The Batman, Robin, and Batgirl costumes look great. Although, could we add more emphasis on the nipples and butt-cheeks?” Also, who agreed with them? That alone should have been the point where the creative team said, “This is a comedy, right?”