“X-Men: The Animated Series” Review – Deadly Reunions

Previously on X-Men, we got an introduction of Magneto, who I’m sure will pop up again at some point; Beast is still in jail for some reason; that Magneto character tried to kill all humans; and Sabretooth is under observation at the mansion with Wolverine trying to kill him but no one knows why.

Not-So-Short Summary: We start with Professor X trying to penetrate Sabretooth’s mind and get past all of the torture and cruelty he has been through. Sabretooth wants none of it. Everything pans out from the trippy opening and Professor X is sitting at Sabretooth’s bedside.

Cyclops explains to the Professor what Magneto wanted of them and how he declared them his enemies for not fighting on his side. The Professor talks about Magneto’s beliefs, which have been hammered home in the two most recent X-Men films (also, young Charles in those movies writes an entire thesis on evolution and similar themes).

But the Professor has some good news, everyone! He’s been working with Sabretooth to try to help him through all of his mental torture, much like he did with Wolverine. Sabretooth is awake and goading at Wolverine because he can. He discusses their past, how they used to be friends and work together until there were some misunderstandings where he just happened to kill some of Wolverine’s friends. Professor X tries to get Wolverine to help with Sabretooth, but he takes off.

Magneto is still around, fancy that! He has his own super computer that’s watching a chemical plant where he decides to mess with the metal of all the chemical-filled vats and set everything on fire. Of course, the Professor has Cerebro monitoring emergency frequencies and it picks up on the attack immediately. The X-Men rush to help.

They do nothing. Magneto kicks all their butts. We also see flashes of Storm’s claustrophobia. Magneto keeps destroying everything in hopes that Professor X will arrive, and he does! Cue the dramatic music and the commercial break!

They stand in the burning building and send verbal jabs at each other. In the end, Magneto throws Professor X to the ground and attempts to kill him, but Professor X has his mental abilities and sneaks into Magneto’s mind to show him some of the worst memories he has buried away… despite the fact that Magneto is wearing his helmet. It’s kind of a jerk move until you realize that Magneto is trying to kill millions of people for the “greater good.”

Everyone escapes without getting harmed. It’s a cartoon, you know.

We jump to Senator Kelly at a news conference discussing the mutant attacks, which is apparently a great segway into announcing his candidacy for the United States president.

This is one of the reasons I don’t like Jubilee. She falls for Sabretooth’s schtick about the Professor helping him and decides to let his wrists breathe for a little bit since he’s been restrained so long. It turns out Magneto has sent Sabretooth to infiltrate the school to destroy it from the inside out.

Wolverine is lurking around to take on Sabretooth once he breaks free. Meanwhile, the rest of the gang returns and decides to just leisurely chill out in another room without checking on Jubilee or their prisoner until something slams into the wall. Wolverine is about to finish off Sabretooth when the Professor tells him not to do it, to think higher of himself.

And then Sabretooth takes a chunk out of Wolverine and runs away.

We end another episode with Magneto talking to the sky menacingly.

Badass Moment of the Week: Let’s go with Professor X and Magneto giving Jeff Winger speeches in the midst of burning chemicals and a flaming building.

Best One-Liner: “I’ll penetrate his recesses!” Wolverine exclaims, claws shinking out menacingly.

The runner-up: “I wonder how you’ll look, Charles, after so long. Perhaps… a toupee,” Magneto murmurs as he waits for the X-Men to arrive. How… evil of you to think that, Magneto.

In the midst of Magneto kicking everyone’s butts, Rogue recovers first and goes to help Cyclops, who isn’t breathing. She performs CPR on him, which seems counter-productive because won’t her brief touch knock him out? Anyway, it works and Cyclops starts breathing on his own. But Rogue gets his laser eyes and the resulting thirty seconds are hilarious. They aren’t supposed to be, but how hard is it to close your eyes?

Where the hell is Jean Grey? No, seriously, she isn’t even in the background of this episode! Isn’t she usually second-in-command behind Cyclops?

I always liked the way they portrayed Professor X reading people’s minds. For example, Sabretooth’s in this episode. He becomes one with Sabretooth to try to break through all of the demons plaguing him, sees the ridicule he has faced. This one I remember quite well, especially when Sabretooth breaks their psychic link and creates a literal wall so Professor X cannot enter again. All of the trippiness of it creates a visceral visual that has apparently haunted me to adulthood. Good to know.

Does it bother anyone else that Sabretooth is completely naked? Or at least has some sort of extremely tight body suit on? The below-the-waist area is now weirding me out.

Join me next week when Jean Grey returns. Also, there are Morlocks. I always liked them.