X-Men: The Animated Series Review – “Till Death Do Us Part, Part Two”

Previously on X-Men, Scott and Jean got married and went off on their honeymoon; Morph is messing things up with the X-Men because he hates them; Professor X ran off to Antarctica; and we finally see Mister Sinister.

Not-So-Short Summary: We begin with Jean and Scott on their honeymoon, and it is literally a picture on the cover of a romance novel. We get fun juxtaposition with Beast trying not to die in the Danger Room. Morph shows up as a police officer in front of Xavier’s School and begins to lose his nerves because he’s remembering his past (think Bucky in Captain America: The Winter Soldier.)

Lucky for him, Mister Sinister is there to persuade him back into destroying the X-Men. He concludes before the commercial break that Cyclops and Jean are his to take. Let’s look forward to that!

Back to Cyclops and Jean in the midst of their romance novel–they run into the Nasty Boys, who crash land them on a random island to do battle. Jean and Cyclops get the collars from Genosha put on them to suppress their powers. Sinister introduces himself in the James Bond fashion, because he’s a badass like that.

Meanwhile, Rogue and Beast are sneaking into a hospital to visit Storm. Her chart says she’ll recover fully in time, and Rogue goes off on Beast for not showing up at the battle like he said he would. He calmly argues that Storm never called him to tell him about this, and the puzzle pieces (involving Morph) start to fall into place. Before he has a chance to go down that rabbit hole, they flee, caught by the nursing staff for visiting after hours.

The Friends of Humanity are holding a rally about the riots that have been going on. They show off Jubilee and, in a Pontius Pilate-esque fashion, Graydon Creed asks the audience they want to do with her. The audience is literally made up of bulky, slob-like guys who want to do away with her, which I find hilarious. In the end, before they can do anything, Wolverine crashes the party through the ceiling.

Back at the mansion, Beast and Rogue continue their arguing, waking up Gambit. He complains that Rogue told him she could be touched, but she counters back that he’s an idiot. More confusing ensues. Here comes Professor X (or shall I say “Professor X”) to tell them that they will soon be under attack by a new weapon: a neural disruptor. Wolverine and Jubilee enter as he’s going on about the psychotic changes that will happen under this weapon.

And that’s when Wolverine smells Morph and loses it. “Professor X” keeps saying uncharacteristic things, so Gambit throws a lit card to make him jump to his feet. He morphs back into Morph, throws a plasma grenade, and retreats. No one can believe Morph is alive.

Morph tries to flee in the Blackbird, but Wolverine and Jubilee have him cornered. It’s then that Wolverine tries to explain why they had to leave him behind way back at the start of season one. Morph doesn’t believe any of it, and turns into Wolverine. We get a fun Wolverine standoff where Jubilee shoots the wrong one and Morph gets away in the jet to go after the mutant he has the most reason to hate. I assume it’s Cyclops because no one likes him.

Mister Sinister has Jean and Cyclops tied down and is explaining what he wants to use them for: their offspring in order to control the world. He takes their DNA and makes weird little magic beans out of it. I don’t really get it, but I’m just going to go with it.

Morph finds Cyclops, who is surprised to find him alive and drops the bomb of them all: He and Jean aren’t actually married because he was posing as the priest. That’s when Mister Sinister shows up to explain the role he’s had in reanimating Morph and controlling him up until this point.

Conveniently (isn’t everything convenient in this show?), the X-Men show up at the perfect time. A mutant showdown takes place between the X-Men and the Nasty Boys. While they go at it, Morph has his own showdown with Mister Sinister, telling him even the worst of them can still find some good. He shoots, but Mister Sinister uses his molecular manipulation to repair himself instantaneously.

Cyclops escapes from his binds, frees Jean, and then takes a shot with his eyes at Mister Sinister. The solar beams of his powers actually hurts Sinister, who can’t believe it. He makes a bold-face statement about Sinister playing god with mutants and then screams, “JUST STAY AWAY FROM MY FRIENDS!” before really blasting him away. Oh, Cyclops, you try so hard; his retort comes off lame.

Sinister and the Nasty Boys flee, and I doubt this will be the last time we see them! Jean tells Cyclops that they will actually get married one day (I feel like it’s going to be multiple times); Morph takes off without saying goodbye.

In the meantime, Charles and Magneto meet each other in Antarctica, both under the impression that the other is dying thanks to Morph. They have walked into a trap and an avalanche takes them down.

Oh crap, I probably shouldn’t have left you guys with such an awful cliffhanger.

Best One-Liner: “The normal people have spoken!” Graydon Creed says about Jubilee’s fate.
“You call this bunch of sickos normal?!” Jubilee counters. I’ll give her credit for bringing up logical, hilarious points.

Bonus points for Wolverine’s jab of “If you knew how much bubblegum I had to sniff to find you…” to Jubilee at the FoH rally.

Kickass Moment of the Week: The mutant showdown between the X-Men and the Nasty Boys is actually very entertaining, with everyone showing off their powers, their good looks, and also their ability to make witty quips. With a dry, cool wit like that, they could be an action hero!

When Jubilee shoots the wrong Wolverine, she definitely says “Sorry!” with the most Canadian accent I have ever heard. That’s what you get when this is a Canadian-made cartoon!

Beast closes off the defenses of the mansion to prevent Morph from leaving, so wouldn’t that include the jet’s exitway? How could Morph escape in the jet if that was the case? CONSISTENCY! PLOT HOLES! SPELLING ERRORS!

Mister Sinister wants to control the world through Jean and Cyclops’s offspring. This is actually really funny because of all the crazy things their children do in the comics, including various Phoenix Sagas, X-Man, and there’s an Apocalypse episode arc that also centers around this in later seasons, though that is more of Jean’s powers than anything to do with Cyclops. I’m pretty sure I’m missing probably about a dozen other things their kids do, but these are the ones that popped into my mind.

There are quite a few plot threads that run throughout this entire cartoon series. For a children’s show, that seems pretty deep. You have to remember that they left Morph behind a season beforehand. I wish I could tell you I paid close attention when I watched this during my childhood, but I was only five years old and really just liked Rogue and Gambit.

It is here that I will conclude this summer’s X-Men: The Animated Series classic reviews. We will return to you next May/June when Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. concludes its second season and the summer months are upon us once more. In the coming weeks, look for updates on Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., and my recaps of episodes will start up after its September 23rd premiere.

Thanks for reading this summer! It was a pleasure trip to return to my childhood… I think. I hope you were as entertained as I was.