Your Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Men: Spider-Ham!
By C.T. Smith
As Spider-Verse has shown us, there’s no limit to who or what can become a Spider-Totem. There’s a cat, a citizen of a Sunday comic strip, a monkey, and so many others; the Spider-Verse does not discriminate. But most of these spidery super heroes have one thing in common, they were bitten by a radioactive spider and granted these powers when their genetic makeup was altered, and they achieved a human(or whatever they may be)-spider hybrid DNA. There is one Spider-“Man” in particular who escapes this description, as he began as a Spider, and was instead bit by a radioactive pig! In this week’s Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Men we’re going to take a closer look at everyone’s favorite Spider-Ham! (First appearance: Marvel Tails #1, November 1983).
In Earth-8311 (or for the version participating in Spider-Verse, Earth-25) an amateur scientist by the name of May Porker tried to build an atomic powered hair dryer in her basement lab; after accidentally irradiating herself while testing it she grabbed Peter, a regular spider living in her basement, and bit him. After being bitten, spider Peter underwent a transformation unlike any of the other Spider-Men and Women of the Verse. His small, spidery form grew, his extra limbs receded, and suddenly he found himself with a porcine body, having essentially become a pig with the abilities of a spider. After a bit of confusion, he eventually adopted the name of Porker, and May Porker had come to believe that she was his actual aunt. He went on to do the one thing we expect most Peter’s to do; he used his newfound scientific genius and created web-spinner gauntlets, donned the ol’ red and blue tights, and used his powers to fight anthropomorphic versions of classic villains.
His regular life shares some comparison to Peter-616’s life. Though some minor details tend to change between issues that include the Spectacular Spider-Ham, he is a photographer at the Daily Beagle, has a loving girlfriend in the form of Mary Crane, and works alongside heroes such as Captain Americat to battle evil foes like Ducktor Doom and Doctor Octopussy (are you beginning to see the trend?) His power set is near identical to Peter Parker-616: he has the proportional strength and agility of a spider, and he utilizes his web-shooters to swing around and web up his opponents – though looks much sillier doing so due to his cartoony complexion. In his ordeals he has also used the same techniques thought up by his counterparts, such as the always solid web fist.
There does seem to be one difference that may give Peter Porker the edge over his fellow Spiders. In his universe, which is a tad lighthearted and has all the qualities of a children’s cartoon show a la Tom and Jerry, he is just as strong or weak as one would expect Spider-Man 616 to be in the 616 universe – but in any universe aside from his own, Spider-Ham seemingly retains the
durability that he holds in his cartoon world. The consequence of this is that his constitution is much more fortified than the other Spider-People. This extra defense is confirmed in Spider-Verse Team Up #1, in a conversation between him, Ben-94, and Old Man Peter Parker; while smirking and shrugging his shoulders he says that in his universe a falling anvil striking one’s head is a simple flesh wound, and teases that the other Spider-Men are so fragile.
With Spider Totems being hunted and dying left and right, the Spider-Verse will need to make use of Spider-Ham’s unique characteristics. The interesting thing is that he has been featured heavily in the issues so far, as he is one of the main Spideys used to recruit other Spider-Men into the Spider-Army. The Spiders all react to him in shock and awe, usually throwing in the fact that he is a cartoon pig, but perhaps that was a calculated strategy to get the Spider-Men to understand the scope of what is happening, and how crazy things are going to get.
Will Spider-Ham continue to play a big role in Spider-Verse? Will the Hulk-Bunny pay a visit from Porker’s universe to help his friend? Will Spider-Ham and Spider-Monkey ever get along? Stay tuned with us and I’ll make sure to keep you updated if any of these occur! If you enjoyed taking a closer look at the Spectacular Peter Porker, check out the write-up on his unfriendly teammate, the Assassin Spider-Man, and keep it locked in for next week’s Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Men!
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