Agents of SHIELD season 5, episode 4 review: A Life Earned

Daisy makes a friend, Mack loses his cool, Deke is aptly named, and the time-traveling Scotsman in the latest episode of Agents of SHIELD.

This week’s Agents of SHIELD episode opens with Kasius touting himself as the architect and savior of the future while Daisy donates blood for the Kree cause without so much as a cookie or some OJ to say thank you. The Kree are nothing if not unappreciative.

It seems the blue baddie is already well aware of Quakes exploits and the mysterious prophecy around which much of this season revolves. Everyone is in on it, it seems, except the viewer and the Shield gang. No worries. We’ve overcome a couple of disadvantages before. Ask Brett Dalton (God, I miss that man.)

Before you can say “slave labor,” we’re back with Coulson, Mack, Yo-Yo, and May, as they continue to do grunt work for the charming-in-a-rabid-bulldog-sort-of-way Grill, who needs more iron for the Blues’ Big Bash and is not afraid to employ some shock-collar tactics to get it. Excuse me, shock-bracelets. Implants. Metrics. Things.

Having eyes, Grills sees a better use for Mack, whose resemblance to the large truck that serves as his namesake is hard to miss, and orders him to stop breaking rocks and go put the hurt on Gunner, a man who is receiving an expensive package despite owing the junkyard boss. “You’re a beast. Go be one.” You know, this Grill really knows his onions. Brains and beauty. Be still my heart.

Mack, bereft of any other option goes off to play repo man. Anybody see any spaces axes with shotgun attachments? No? Man, the future is kind of lame.

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A beat later, Daisy is introduced to the Kree gladiatorial tradition that we saw demonstrated previously with Abby. This time a shredded Inhuman with the ability to read minds is doing his best Enter the Dragon workout routine with a humorless personal trainer who probably convinced him to join the Lighthouse on a special introductory rate before jacking the prices WAY up. Jerk.

Daisy and her fellow Inhuman have a chat at the Kree equivalent of your local gym’s juice bar and then it’s Daisy’s turn to show her stuff.

Which she does by unexpectedly putting her glaring, personal trainer on his butt Quake-style. Take that yearly contracts!

This demonstration is enough to pique the interest of Lady Basha who offers to buy The Destroyer of Worlds outright, before her eBay clock has even run down. Sure, she may be elegant and sinister, but she has no idea how to shop victoriously.

Kasius, pride still stinging from how Lady Basha refuses to come to dinner in a previous episode, denies her and gives her a sick space burn in the process. If this whole ruler of a desolate existence thing doesn’t work out, Kasius should have a bright future as a Mean Girl.

He then gives Deke some Rhodium in payment for his betrayal. For those of you who slept through AP chemistry, Rhodium—known as Rh to its friends—is a noble metal and a member of the platinum group. Its atomic number is 45 and it enjoys long walks on the beach and puppies. Who said comics aren’t educational? Don’t forget to tune into next week’s Agents of Shield when Jemma shows us all how to make a baking soda volcano!

https://twitter.com/AgentsofSHIELD/status/941864047187845121

Speaking of one half of television’s smartest UK connection, after a brief interlude where Deke continues lying (Deke gonna Deke) and Mack and Yo-Yo debate the moral quandaries of surviving a bleak future

where Cylons could be anywhere

there’s no food and the Simpsons is no longer airing, we learn Kasius has found Jemma’s high-tech glue gun and is hot on the tail of the truth.

Being the clever dispassionate villain that he is, he brings in the mind-reading Inhuman from before who does Daisy a solid and fibs to his overlord on her behalf.

Kasius, not to be thrown off the trail too easily, pulls the same time-honored trick as every parent with multiple kids and has the two liars tell their stories independently of each other (thanks to Jemma’s cone of silence) to see if their versions match. Which they do, thanks to Daisy’s new friend’s telepathy.

This, as yet, unnamed mind mage (I’m calling him Professor neXt until I’m told otherwise) also manages to sneak a creep into Kasius’ mind where he learns the despot plans to eradicate the entire station out of hatred and shame. So…there’s…that.

This Kasius guy, I’m starting to get the feeling he’s not a nice person.

Meanwhile, Yo-Yo and Mack have arrived at destination shakedown and give Gunner whatever the opposite of the Care Bear Stare is. Some inadvisable questioning of Mack’s parenting skills leads the big man to offer a violent rebuttal. Those keeping score at home will recall Mack had a daughter, whom he lost twice. Not cool, bro. Not cool.

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On the enigmatic level 35, Coulson and May learn that the package Gunner is purchasing is actually a baby and that the people of this new future are infertile, though he doesn’t offer too much in the way of an explanation. I’m thinking they were right about Mt. Dew. A little digging also reveals that Deke has been lying about Daisy.  What. A. Deke.

Before they can really even get all the way mad, the space rouge gets stabbed and Coulson has to carry him off to safety while May gets the chance to go womano-a-womano against Sinara, a battle she loses thanks to the Kree’s spinning massage balls of death. I demand a rematch under Queensberry rules immediately!

Some ways off, Coulson and Deke have a heart-to-heart interspersed with some slight fisticuffs where Deke reveals that daddy issues are alive and well in the future, and that his father’s voice was the one the group heard on the radio from Earth. Quick, somebody play some space-catch with this weasel before I start crying.

Back at the junkyard, Mack worries that this bloody senseless future suits him a little too well. He’s got the build for it, that’s for sure.

Finally, as the episode draws to a close, Kasius gathers the whole of his Inhuman gladiators and charges them with the task of defeating the legendary Quake, Destroyer of Worlds.

Before anyone can accept, none other than the wayward Fitz steps forth from the crowd and unmasks himself after doing his best Princess Leia as bounty hunter impression and offers up the seemingly insane idea that Daisy be made to fight to the death.

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Or in Buffer terms, let’s get ready to rumble!

Let’s hope he’s holding a thermal detonator.

Fin. See ya next week.