How does Batman ’89 compare to Batman Returns?

Action

“The penguins seem to be converging on Gotham Plaza.” That’s an actual line from Alfred near the climax of Batman Returns. Rather than a lengthy fight with the Penguin himself, the Dark Knight must overcome an army of brainwashed penguins. More than anything, that fact serves as an exclamation point for the argument that Batman Returns is farcical. The actual resolution of the conflict offers more of the same. When Selina tells Max Shreck she wants his blood, he says, “my blood? I gave at the office?” Max, generally, is so oblivious it hurts; when Bruce and Selina unmask and talk to each other in front of him, he asks, “Bruce, why are you dressed up as Batman?” ( It’s terrifying that, in the universe of movie, Max is one of the richest men in Gotham.) Thankfully, the viewer is spared when Selina kills Max by simultaneously kissing and electrifying him.

Batman doesn’t fare much better. Any time Batman punches a goon, he moves stiffly because the suit looks like a cross of hard armor and tight leather. The final fight between the Dark Knight and the Joker is comparatively more satisfying; the rivals do some real damage to each other with some convincing blows. The Joker’s post-battle dancing cheapens the moment, though. It’s up to the viewer to decide whether they prefer a climactic conflict with Penguins or a decent battle between two of the most famous enemies in history.