Dear Marvel, I’d like my heart back – a Guardians 3 review

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3 was an emotional closing chapter to the Guardians franchise.

I saw Marvel’s latest movie, Toy Story: A Marvel Story Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3 yesterday. I left the theater a raccoon, not because I was cosplaying as Rocket, but because my mascara was running down all over my face.

Do not wear makeup to the theater when you go watch this.

I honestly don’t know where to begin, so if my thought process and structuring skills are off, blame James Gunn.

HEAVY SPOILERS incoming – I will discuss everything including the ending and huge plot points in this review. You’ve been warned.

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3 review

Let’s break it all down, shall we?

When the movie starts, the Guardians are in the middle of establishing their headquarters on newly re-built Knowhere, when a superpowered being named Adam, created out of revenge by Ayesha, the empress of the Sovereign, unleashes a vicious attack on them. Ayesha’s plan is to bring Rocket back to his creator, the

biggest asshole ever

High Evolutionary, and to punish the Guardians, especially Rocket, for stealing batteries from her back in the events of the first movie.

Rocket is seriously injured during the fight, which prompted the waterworks to begin on my part roughly 15 minutes into the movie as I felt like my heart was ripped out of my chest, and the crew is unable to help him due to a kill switch implanted in him. Frantically desperate to save their not-a-raccoon friend, they decide to travel to the Orgoscope, the headquarters of the High Evolutionary’s company Orgocorp, to find an override code. The crew is assisted by the Ravagers and a reluctant Gamora (with amazing hair and a bad attitude) to infiltrate Orgoscope and retrieve Rocket’s file.

Throughout the movie, we see glimpses into Rocket’s past life and his day-by-day as an experiment, locked up in his cage when not being used, or getting mentally and physically abused by the devil’s right hand High Evolutionary. It’s sad. It’s really sad. It’s actually a sad, twisted, darker version of Toy Story. We meet Lylla, Teefs, and Floor, Rocket’s best friends and saving grace while growing up in these unspeakable conditions. We see them bond, we see how they each get their names, we see the exact moment those friends vanish, and how. It’s brutal. It made me physically hurt for Rocket and his friends. I never expected to feel something like that after Endgame, especially in a Guardians movie, but Marvel has done it again.

While looking into his files, the crew stumbles upon a video of one of the many procedures Rocket has had done on him. Their faces reflect a slice of the monstrosity and utter hell Rocket and his friends went through. It was a hard scene to watch, and listening to a baby raccoon squealing for help as they show each Guardian’s reaction was enough to paint a horrific scene in my head. Once the shock wears off, they find out that Theel, one of the High Evolutionary’s two  perpetually panicked-looking scientists, may have the override code in his memory and they decide to go further down the rabbit hole and track him down.

"“Kill one guy. One stupid guy. Who no one loves.”"

Gamora bails on the Guardians after failing to convince them not to to Counter-Earth and is attacked by a pig warrior sent by the High Evolutionary, while Quill, Nebula, and Groot trace Theel to the High Evolutionary’s ship, while Drax and Mantis remain with Gamora and Rocket.

Yeah. There’s a LOT going on. Not just plot-wise, but character arc-wise. We’ll get to that later. Anyway.

The High Evolutionary basically says, “Alexa, start the Counter-Earth project from scratch” and his ship begins to launch with Quill and Groot captured onboard, destroying Counter-Earth. Meanwhile, Mantis, bless her soul, unwillingly accompanies Drax to the High Evolutionary’s ship, while Gamora overpowers Adam and launches the Guardians’ ship. Quill and Groot successfully defeat the High Evolutionary’s men and capture Theel, epically jumping off the broken window with Theel in tow and freaking out, and with Groot altering his limbs to act as a glider. It was a really cool scene, actually. They retrieving the computer chip attached to Theel’s head before Gamora meets them.

Then, Quill and Gamorra go to Rocket and successfully bypass and deactivate the kill switch. Sigh of relief. Wait. Oh, no. Rocket flatlines and has a near death experience, where he is met by his former childhood friends Lylla, Teefs, and Floor, who tell him that his time has not yet come before Quill successfully implements the override code and revives him.

So in the span of 2 minutes, Marvel managed to put my heart back in my chest, then tear it again out and proceed to put it back into place once more. Thanks, Disney! Marvel is definitely learning from the mother company.

Back to the movie.

Nebula, Mantis, and Drax board the High Evolutionary’s ship and come across hordes of imprisoned children before being captured themselves. These children, made by the High Evolutionary, were also experiments meant for his “new world”. The children speak some sort of language that nobody recognizes, so communication is a little hard at first. Nebula, Mantis, and Drax are placed in a pit with three huge Abilisks, creatures that I swear I’ve defeated before on my D&D campaigns, and Mantis remains calm and very sweetly approaches and befriends them. The trio escape the chamber, epically mounting the Abilisks, before reuniting with the rest of the Guardians and overpowering the High Evolutionary’s army.

Kraglin (Yondu’s old first mate and amateur whistler) and Cosmo (a sapient dog that developed telekinetic abilities after being sent into space by the Soviet Union and, most importantly, a good girl) arrive and come up to the High Evolutionary’s ship. Through her powers, Cosmo the Good Girl connects the ships together, allowing the captured children to escape.

My heart once again skips. Rocket discovers a litter of baby raccoons and other test subject animals, and I suddenly feel like Mei holding the box of kitties in Turning Red . It’s such a bittersweet moment as Rocket frees every living creature out of their cages. It’s a big moment for him. But nothing sweet lasts forever, and he is attacked by the High Evolutionary before being rescued by the Guardians. What. A. Fight.

Wait. Quill stupidly decides to turn around for his dropped MP3 player. He propels himself forward… but debris from both ships fills the space between them as the ships separate… And he gets stuck…. And he bloats up…. And I felt it again: Marvel yanked my heart out once more. But then, suddenly Adam! He is able to bring Quill back into Kraglin’s ship and… somehow, Quill survived. Disney is really good with the “somehows.”

The High Evolutionary

does not get a satisfying death in the least

is left to die on his ship.

As things settle and they reunite, Quill makes the decision to disband the Guardians of the Galaxy as they are now. He bestows the rank of Captain of the Guardians upon Rocket before leaving for Earth to spend time with his grandfather. Against the wishes of a teary-eyed Drax, Mantis embarks on a journey of self-discovery with the three Abilisks while he and Nebula stay on Knowhere. Gamora happily reunites with the Ravagers. I think that was the happiest I have ever seen Gamora be.

And so, I remained in my seat, staring at the giant screen and sniffling along with those sitting around me. There were mid and post-credit scenes: a mid-credit scene where Rocket, a fully grown Groot, Cosmo, Kraglin, Warlock, Phyla, and Blurp are shown undergoing a new mission and a post-credits scene of Quill eating cereal with his grandfather and chatting.

Feelings.

I gave myself the night to digest the movie, and not one of my opinions about it have changed.

As the newest Marvel installment, I actually loved Guardians 3. I will admit and say I wasn’t very thrilled with the second movie, and I was’t expecting much. I thoroughly enjoyed Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania earlier this year and still think it was a great way to introduce Kang and new phase, but Guardians 3 definitely solidified it. Phase Five of the MCU has had a strong start with two very different yet similar movies. I do admit I like Guardians 3 more than Quantumania, though.

Nebula and Quill’s interactions in this movie were so good. From Quill drunkenly touching Nebula’s arm while mistaking her for Gamora, saying he loves her to the best thing anyone has ever been able to sneak into a Marvel/Disney movie:

"“Open the fucking door!”"

Thank you, James Gunn, for making sure Quill got to say the first f-bomb in a Marvel movie. It was refreshing, perfectly executed, and perfectly placed.

Maybe Quill and Nebula do have a slight crush on each other. Maybe it’s nothing more than just family love. Maybe it’s more than that. But whatever it is, I was pleasantly surprised with Quill in this movie. He… matured a bit. Losing Gamora really did a number on him, but having a Gamora but not the Gamora around really helped both of them realize where they belong. Gamora, unconsciously, was still trying to kind of fill the other Gamora’s shoes. She kind of finds a little bit of herself with the group especially towards the end, when she finally starts to understand Groot. But she knows she doesn’t belong there. As she’s said many times, she’s not the Gamora they knew and loved. She finds her place with the Ravagers and remains with them.

Quill seems to have grown up just a little bit. Not a lot of silly jokes or trying to show off in front of a god. A lot of raw emotion makes its way out of Quill, and we see that, under all the jokes, the flirting, the competitions, the temper – Quill is suffering in silence, trying to cope and process everything he’s been through. Running away from it all as he always does works well enough as we see in the MCU movies, but sitting down and taking the time to properly process his traumas and heal is something that he ultimately should have done a long time ago. The fact that he recognizes that and leaves the Guardians makes me gain a whole other level of respect for him.

I only really have one small annoyance with the movie: the same “pulling the punches” move Disney pulled with Star Wars Episode IX: Rise of Skywalker. They wanted to give us the shock value of at least two beloved characters dying just to bring them back again. I really wish directors and writers didn’t do that. There are better ways to keep your audience sobbing into a tissue on the edge of their seats.

Also, Mantis and Drax have left me wanting a spin-off where she realizes she does want him around and goes back to get him, and the duo go on crazy adventures together. Please?

All in all, Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3 is, in my humble opinion, just as good if not better than the original title, Guardians of the Galaxy. It’s the second and best addition to the Phase Five of the MCU so far, and it carried a more serious tone than the las two Guardians movies. It ends a much beloved story beautifully, while leaving room for more things, people, and places to be explored and introduced in that sect of the MCU. I give it a 8.5/10.

So Marvel, if you’d be so kind, I’d like my heart back, please.