This ‘Spider-Man for Millenials’ idea is worse than the Solo Aunt May film rumour!

Remember the rumour that Sony film studios were planning a solo film for Spider-Man supporting character Aunt May that explored her in her younger days as an ass-kicking spy? At the time I didn’t think I would hear anything more ridiculous relating to Spider-Man.

But now, thanks to the massive collection of Sony emails available on Wikileaks I have realised that I was so, so, so wrong. Because what I am about to show you is possibly the most ridiculous thing concerning Spider-Man that will ever see the light of day, if not the most ridiculous thing ever.

An email exchange between ex-MTV exec Nick Shore and Sony Co-Chairman at the time Amy Pascal reveals a Spidey pitch from Shore to make the character more appealing to ‘Millenials’ or as we know them on the internet and real-life, hipsters.

Take a look courtesy of A.V. Club

"Spidey thoughtHey Amy – just a couple of rando thoughts from 35,000 LAX-JFK:– A rising trend we see with Millennials are the really extreme forms of experiential exercise like Tough Mudder (a sort of filthy triathalon), the Color Run and even things like Hot Power Yoga, veganism etc. Millennials will often post “N.B.D.” on their social media after doing it , as in No Big Deal, also known as the “humble brag”…..wondering if Spidey could get into that in some way….he’s super athletic, bendy, strong, intense….and it’s all NBD to him, of course.– EDM (electronic dance music) is the defining music for Millennials. Wondering if there’s an EDM angle somewhere with Spidey? His movements are beautiful, would be awesome with a killer DJ behind it– Snapchat just launched a “story” functionality, which is sort of “day in the life of me” told in a series of snapchats that expire after 24 hours. It has a very VIP quality about it, since invitation only. Getting invited into Spidey’s Snapchat circle would be huge, and very buzzworthy and cool."

That entire email is everything I think is currently wrong with the world and especially people my age. Words like ‘Buzzworthy, Humble-brag and N.B.D’ are killing this planet and they almost, almost killed Spider-Man. Because rather than laughing this off as a hilarious parody on hipster culture through the medium of Spider-Man film discussion as Amy Pascal should’ve done, she forwarded it to Michael Lynton with the words ‘Love This’.

This is also a stark and depressing reminder that hipsters are the epitome of irony and that young people are so susceptible to the marketing strategies of corporations so desperate for their custom that they’re willing to destroy and undermine the whole point of a character like Peter Parker just to make him more appealing.

To make matters worse you can clearly see elements of this culture in Andrew Garfield’s portrayal of Peter Parker/Spider-Man. He skateboards, he’s effortlessly cool he’s targeting the millenial demographic. And we now know why Electro randomly played drum and base music.

But I’m so thankful to whoever put the block on this because this would’ve almost definitely been a big deal. A really, really big deal!

Next: Sony announce animated Spider-Man film

Next: Avengers: Age of Ultron review

More from Bam Smack Pow

• The Expanse: Every character ranked from worst to best
• James Gunn’s Superman: Legacy casts more major DC characters
• New Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom trailer pushes Arthur to his limits
• Monarch: Legacy of Monsters episodes 1 and 2 review: Aftermath
• 7 actors who could replace Ezra Miller as The Flash in the DC Universe

If you enjoy what you’ve read here at Whatever a Spider Can, we’ve got some exciting news for you — you can be part of the team here too! We’re looking for enthusiastic Spider-Fans to write for us on anything Spider-Man related. just fill in the form you’ll find here and tell us why you want to write for Whatever a Spider Can. We look forward to hearing from you!