Michael Keaton Calls Out Spiderman

Michael Keaton Calls Out Spiderman

Michael Keaton has always and will always be hilarious. The most hilarious Batman, in fact. And I’m including Clooney, who’s actually pretty funny in his own right.

Being both funny and the most beloved Batman, Keaton is in a unique position to make statements that could be considered derogatory or inflammatory in today’s society of gender identity awareness, but not when he’s telling a funny story. (He just doesn’t mean it that way, I promise.) Especially when he’s calling out Spiderman.

Recently, while on The Tonight Show – you know, the show Jimmy Fallon Gerald Ford-ed his way into and still has for some ungodly reason – Michael Keaton told a brilliant anecdote about talking to an employee of an iPhone repair shop. The kid was watching one of the recent Andrew Garfield Spiderman films and he happened to witness one of the scenes where Garfield cried about something. His parents or Uncle Ben or Gwen Stacy or something. Who knows? Then came the best quote from Batman of all time.

“Pussy,” he stated. “Batman would never cry.”

Boom. Mic dropped.

I think we can safely say that the context was humorous and not sincere or meant as bigoted. That being said, it’s pretty damn funny.

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Besides, after his resurgence in Hollywood with the incendiary Birdman or (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance), he can tell any story he wants about Spiderman. Val Kilmer, George Clooney, Christian Bale and Ben Affleck may know what he had to go through, (seriously, watch Birdman), but no one will ever have the currency of Keaton, the progenitor. Father Batman, as it were.

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So far, no response from Andrew Garfield, Tobey Maguire, or Tom Holland, who is so young that he probably does cry quite a lot.

Ball’s in your court, Parker.

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