Secret Wars Battle Report, Week Twenty-Nine


Secret Wars is running out of steam, publishing only a parody book this week. But next week is the end of the painfully grim Hail Hydra, so I vote we all appreciate the levity while we can.

Secret Wars Too #1

What happened:  In Sraw Terces (Secret Wars backwards), Jonathan Hickman struggles to come up with an ending to Secret Wars. In Great Incomprehensibility, Spider-Man and Uncle Ben meet an increasingly absurd list of heroes with rhyming names (Glider-Man, Slider-Man, and Health-Care-Provider-Man as my favorites). In Pizza Quest, Miss America Chavez and Kate Bishop bounce through Battleworld looking for Pizza Dog. In the Last Days Of D-Man, the homeless superhero gets a moment of glory before the last Incursion destroys the universe. In #GalHACKEDtus, Spider-Man braves a world populated by a billion versions of Uncle Ben to get the Ultimate Wi-Fier so Galactus can stop The Watcher from trolling him online. In The Bear Without Fear, a bear version of Daredevil settles the love triangle between Cyclops, Wolverine, and Jean Grey. And in Doom: Behind The Tyranny, a camera crew follows Victor Von Doom as prepares for his role in the Secret Wars story.

Was it good: It was really funny – not all the stories worked, but the Spider-Man stories were great, and the others were pleasant if not guffaw-worthy.

Is it necessary: In no sense of the term.

Should you buy it: I’m not recommending any of the humor books, and there were funnier examples than this. But I liked it a lot.


Essential Reading:

Really, just Secret Wars. Well done, Marvel.

Recommended Tie-ins:

A-ForceAmazing Spider-Man: Renew Your Vows, Captain Marvel And The Carol CorpsHouse Of M, InfernoInhumans: Attilan Rising, Marvel Zombies, Old Man Logan, Star-Lord & Kitty Pryde, ThorsX-Men ’92 (digital version), and Ms. Marvel or Silk (Last Days).

Good Books That Just Don’t Make Top-Tier:

1602 Witch Hunter Angela, 1872, Age Of Ultron Vs. Marvel Zombies, Captain Britain And The Mighty Defenders, Civil War, Deadpool’s Secret Secret Wars, Ghost Racers, Giant-Size Little Marvel: AVX, Hank Johnson, Agent Of Hydra, Howard The Human, Infinity Gauntlet, Korvac Saga, Master Of Kung Fu, M.O.D.O.K. Assassin, Red Skull, Runaways, Secret Wars 2099, Secret Wars: Battleworld, Secret Wars Journal, Secret Wars: Secret Love (for two stories), Secret Wars Too, Siege, Spider Island, Spider-Verse, Squadron Sinister, Weirdworld, Where Monsters Dwell, X-Men ’92 (print version), and X-Tinction Agenda.

Books To Skip:

Age Of Apocalypse, Armor Wars, E Is For Extinction, Future Imperfect, Guardians Of Knowhere, Hail Hydra, Mrs. Deadpool And The Howling Commandos, Planet Hulk, Ultimate End, Years Of Future Past, and any of the Last Days titles you weren’t already reading.

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