Stillanerd Reviews: Peter Parker: The Spectacular Spider-Man #3 review

Even as the series starts narrowing its narrative focus, it seems Chip Zdarsky’s Spider-Man could use more common sense … and new stand-up material.

Peter Parker: The Spectacular Spider-Man #3

“Fisk-y Business”

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Writer: Chip Zdarsky

Artist: Adam Kubert

Color Artist: Jordie Bellaire

Letterer: VC’s Travis Lanham

Covers: Adam Kubert and Jordie Bellaire; Mark Bagley, Terry Pallot, and Paul Mounts

When a new ongoing comic book series starts, it can sometimes take a while to find its bearings. It can take as many as one, two, or several issues before the writer of said series can find his or her voice. It can also take as many issues for the readers to become accustomed to the comic in question, particularly if their earlier exceptions haven’t been met. Time and patience are the only requirements.

With Peter Parker: The Spectacular Spider-Man #3, it seems writer Chip Zdarsky has figured out what kind of comic he wishes to write. At least we can only hope. Instead of an issue with Spider-Man ungainly swinging from subplot to subplot with little to no connective threads in between, this one has a clear, unwavering narrative strand. Each character, for the most part, has a reason for being in this story. The jokes, however, are still just as bad.

Credit: Adam Kubert and Jordie Bellaire (Marvel Comics); from Peter Parker: The Spectacular Spider-Man #3

[Peter Parker: The Spectacular Spider-Man #3] has a clear, unwavering narrative strand. Each character, for the most part, has a reason for being in this story. The jokes, however, are still just as bad.

This time, Zdarsky has Spider-Man confronting Wilson Fisk, a.k.a. the Kingpin, who he learned, last issue, was the source for distributing encrypted Stark smartphones to various criminals. With Johnny Storm (the Human Torch) and Peter’s maybe or maybe-not sister, Teresa Durant, in tow, they head to Fisk’s penthouse to confront him. Of course, things don’t go as planned. As plots go, its linear, focused, and precise.

The thing is, before Spidey, Johnny, and Teresa head off to kick down the Kingpin’s door, Johnny points out that, while still suspicious, Fisk hasn’t done anything illegal. There’s no law saying he can’t sell encrypted cellphones to third parties. All Spidey has are mere accusations that criminals are organizing themselves without any evidence. Later, Kingpin makes the same argument, adding that if anyone has broken any laws, it’s Spider-Man by breaking into his home and attempting to violate other people’s privacy.

Admittedly, the encrypted Stark phones plot was always weak. This development, however, cuts it completely off at the knees. You could argue Zdarsky is just being genre savvy about his own McGuffin, that it didn’t really matter so long as Spider-Man and friends face the Kingpin over something. In fairness, it also does lead towards the person who is reverse-engineering the phones, along with more callbacks to Amazing Spider-Man: Family Business. In truth, all it really accomplishes is make Spider-Man out to be an impulsive idiot.

Credit: Adam Kubert and Jordie Bellaire (Marvel Comics); from Peter Parker: The Spectacular Spider-Man #3

It does advance Teresa’s narrative too. Wanted by the authorities for smuggling data from a corrupt S.H.I.E.L.D. black-ops unit, Teresa gains a costumed identity, courtesy of The Tinkerer’s brother, the Mason. Only, despite arming herself with tazer guns and strapping on Falcon-style wings, the one thing Teresa doesn’t have is a mask. Naturally, not one, but two people recognize her. In other words, the story advanced because Teresa, a character who needs to hide her identity, couldn’t bother hiding her identity.

Now I’ve complained before about writers, to get from point A to point B, forcing their characters to do things they otherwise wouldn’t do. This issue is a clear example of this, often for the sake of desperately trying to get a laugh. After being so paranoid about his secret identity in the beginning, Peter, as Spider-Man, doesn’t think twice about introducing Teresa as his sister. There’s also a crucial point where Peter’s spider-sense fails to work … until it does.

Even though Zdarsky focuses his narrative, his pacing still needs work, and what kills it is, again, his attempts at humor, or lack thereof. His gags are predictable (J. Jonah Jameson’s first comment on his blog), overused (Spidey not wanting to make fun of Kingpin’s weight because it’s “insensitive”) and always badly-timed. Little wonder then the dialogue feels over-scripted because most of the time it’s setting up a joke that never lands.

This also makes the second issue in a row wherein Adam Kubert creates underwhelming, inconsistent illustrations. His panel layouts are mostly still well-arranged, and he’s great with expressive facial detail during close-ups. Unfortunately, there’s far too many scenes where the art looks unfinished, flat, and slapdash, with irregular, mismatched proportions and a severe lack of fine details.

This becomes especially clear when the Kingpin arrives on scene. For whatever reason, Kubert can’t decide how big or how tall he is in relation towards other characters. This most egregious and noticeable instance of this happens during a crucial scene where there appears to be multiple Kingpins at once. This makes a neat visual moment, but the illusion is ruined since no two Kingpin appears the same.

Credit: Adam Kubert and Jordie Bellaire (Marvel Comics); from Peter Parker: The Spectacular Spider-Man #3

…it seems what Chip Zdarsky really wants Peter Parker: The Spectacular Spider-Man to be is an action-oriented buddy comedy. If so, it’s not a very good one.

The same scene also involves what would’ve been an otherwise effective bit of sequential storytelling. For six pages, including a two-page spreads, Kubert has four rows of panels, with the sound of an alarm filling in the gutters. The downside is because of the number of pages this involves, it looks too repetitive. Stylistically, it also comes across looking like a pale imitation of John Romita Jr.’s work.

In the end, it seems what Chip Zdarsky really wants Peter Parker: The Spectacular Spider-Man to be is an action-oriented buddy comedy. If so, it’s not a very good one. Yes, it’s a Spider-Man comic closer to the character’s roots, but one which sees him too much as a put-upon clown. Only Peter Parker isn’t just the “funny guy.” He certainly has better wit and intelligence than what we’ve seen so far during this series.

Stillanerd’s Score: 2 out of 5

Next: Stillanerd Reviews: Peter Parker: The Spectacular Spider-Man #2 review

Stillanerd’s Nerdy Nitpicks (possible spoilers)

Credit: Adam Kubert and Jordie Bellaire (Marvel Comics); from Peter Parker: The Spectacular Spider-Man #3

Odd how the recap page devotes six paragraphs recounting Teresa’s trouble with The Grey Blade when the issue’s story has little to do with this.

How sad is it that I can totally relate with J. Jonah Jameson’s experience with his blog?

Just why did Johnny ask Karnak for help watching Teresa? Wouldn’t it make more sense if he called Ben Grimm, a.k.a. The Thing, instead? He’s friends with Peter and knows his secret identity too. Oh right, because the Inhumans need more promotion.

You know, if Mason really wanted to keep his lab more secure, he should install a lock on the door. That way, no one could just causally wander in like Spider-Man did.

“… Mephisto’s advocate schtick.” Except Johnny isn’t taking a position he doesn’t agree with, Spidey. He’s pointing out your obvious hypocrisy. Also, thanks for the unneeded “One More Day” reminder.

“… let’s slip in quiet like.” Too late for that, Johnny, as that blast of yours looked bright enough to be seen several blocks away.

Of all those terrible superhero monikers for Teresa and Spidey, “Good Punisher” is the one you’re sticking with?

Hold on? Since most of those Kingpins are holograms, wouldn’t the water from the sprinklers be passing through them? And yet Spider-Man still can’t tell from this simple observation which of them is the real deal?

“… how is Peter Parker these days?” Okay, I’ll give the comic props for hinting, but not confirming, whether Kingpin remembers Spider-Man’s secret identity.

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