Deadpool 2’s X-Force members, um…ranked?

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Credit: 20th Century Fox/Marvel Entertainment; from Deadpool 2 (2018)

Where we count down the worst to the best of Deadpool 2’s own “super-dupper group,” and see whether or not they really lived up to their x-pectations.

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Well, this is a little embarrassing. After watching all those Deadpool 2 trailers and teasers, and witnessing all the awesomeness and hilarity to come, there was one thing about the film all of us were very excited to see. Okay, aside from watching Ryan Reynolds reprise his role as the Merc With A Mouth for the second time. (No, X-Men Origins: Wolverine does. not. count!) And Josh Brolin as Cable. And more Colossus and Negasonic Teenage Warhead. I am, of course, talking about the epitome of 1990’s comic book superhero coolness known as X-Force.

Spun off from Marvel Comics’ New Mutants and created by Fabian Nicieza and Rob Liefeld, X-Force are essentially the X-Men without restraints. The paraphrase a line from Deadpool 2, they’re willing to get their hands dirty for the greater good. Typically, they armed themselves with all manner of weapons, especially blades and over-sized guns, and weren’t afraid to use them. Knowing we would finally see them on the big screen was sheer delight.

Thus, before Deadpool 2‘s release, we here at Bam Smack Pow decided it’d be a great idea to rank each member of X-Force (minus Deadpool, of course, because he’d be number one).

And while watching the movie, X-Force seemed even more awesome than advertised. There was Wade Wilson (Ryan Reynolds) and Weasel (TJ Miller), assembling the team via Linkedin and job interviews. The mission to free Russel Collins (Julian Dennison) from the DMC convoy seemed full-proof. They had the cargo plane, the confidence, the parachutes, and even AC/DC’s adrenaline-pumping “Thunderstruck” as their theme music. At long last, X-Force would show general audiences what bad asses us comic geeks all recognized them to be.

And then…? Let’s just say things didn’t exactly go according to plan. In fact, as first missions go, it was a complete disaster. Many an X-Force lover, deep within their stoical souls, broke down into uncontrollable sobbing. The fate of X-Force was tragic; it was also, just like 75 to 80% of Deadpool 2, utterly hilarious.

But darn it all, we at Bam Smack Pow committed ourselves to ranking the members of X-Force, and rank them we shall! It may not be much of a ranking, all things considered, but we might as well give the good old college try, right? Suffice to say, there will be spoilers from this point forward, so if you haven’t seen Deadpool 2 yet, do so before reading further. With that said, let’s start with…