Stillanerd’s Retrospective: X-Men: The Last Stand (2006) review

Widely regarded as the worst chapter of the original X-Men trilogy, are the reasons fans dump on this movie still valid over a decade later?

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Superman Returns (2006) ruined X-Men: The Last Stand (2006). True, in terms of ticket sales, this third installment of X-Men movies did remarkably well. It didn’t just break box office records, it out performed both X-Men and X2. To this day, The Last Stand is still one of the highest grossing films in the X-Men franchise. Yet when you sit down and watch this movie and learn about what happened behind the scenes, there’s no denying that The Last Stand is a mess, and that it all started when Bryan Singer opted to create a spiritual sequel to Richard Donner’s Superman (1978).

Credit: 20th Century Fox

Given how

X-Men: The Last Stand

would eventually turn out, maybe it was a good thing [Bryen Singer ended up directing

X-Men

[instead of Brett Ratner] after all. Then again, the real problem with

The Last Stand

is where most problems with big budget movies usually lie–the script.

It’s obvious in hindsight just how dependent 20th Century Fox was on Singer helming what was fast becoming a multi-billion dollar cinematic enterprise. The moment he left, the studio scrambled for a replacement. Unfortunately, most of their choices, which included Darren Aronofsky (Hugh Jackman’s preferred choice) and Zack Synder (given how he helmed the DC films, X-Men fans probably lucked out), were deeply involved in their own projects. Even when they officially announced the release date and that shooting would begin in a couple of months, the studio still didn’t have a director for the third movie.

By this point, the studio settled on Matthew Vaughn, who not only approved most of the casting decisions, but also formulated many key scenes in the film. Except just as shooting was about to start, he dropped out due to “family issues.” Finally, Fox Studios hired their original choice for the first X-Men movie, Brett Ratner. Given how X-Men: The Last Stand would eventually turn out, maybe it was a good thing Singer ended up directing X-Men after all. Then again, the real problem with The Last Stand is where most problems with big budget movies usually lie–the script.

X2‘s Zak Penn and screenwriter Simon Kinberg (yes, the same guy who would eventually write and direct the upcoming Dark Phoenix) wanted to do an adaptation of Chris Claremont and John Byrne’s fan-favorite “The Dark Phoenix Saga.” After all, the end of X2 hinted at this, and Singer came up with a treatment for it. The studio, however, wanted to adapt the mutant cure storyline, first introduced in the very popular X-Men: The Animated Series. As Joss Whedon also wrote a version of this story in his critically acclaimed Astonishing X-Men comic, the studio felt this would have broader audience appeal.

Credit: 20th Century Fox

Considering how underdeveloped Famke Janssen’s Jean Grey was over the course of two movies, along with this film franchises more grounded take, there’s no way to do [the “Dark Phoenix Saga”] the proper justice it deserves.

In the end, the screenwriters decided to cram together both stories into one film with the same running time as the first X-Men movie. You don’t need mutant psychic powers to foresee why this ended up being a terrible idea. Something as epic and sprawling as the “Dark Phoenix Saga” demands a standalone film with proper build-up beforehand. Considering how underdeveloped Famke Janssen’s Jean Grey was over the course of two movies, along with this film franchises more grounded take, there’s no way to do this story the proper justice it deserves.

Not that The Last Stand doesn’t try. The film explains Jean’s sudden heel-turn by revealing she had dissociative identity disorder all along, and that Professor Charles Xavier (Patrick Stewart) implanted “psychic barriers” in her mind–without her consent, mind you–to suppress her “Phoenix” persona.  It also gives Cyclops’s (James Marsden) role and star-crossed love story with Jean from the original comics to Wolverine (Hugh Jackman). Yes, if you thought Scott Summers was robbed in X2, at least that film kept him around longer than five minutes. As an added indigity, Jean kills him off screen, and he’s treated like an afterthought for the rest of the movie.

As for the mutant cure storyline, it’s one of those rare instances where the studio was right all along. Not only does it raise the stakes for everyone involved, it perfectly aligns with the X-Men’s central metaphor, justifies the conflict between the X-Men and Magneto’s (Ian McKellan) Brotherhood, and fosters all sorts of ethical and moral questions without any easy answers. After all, it’s easy to say “mutation isn’t a disease” when you have cool powers and can still pass yourself off as an ordinary person. But what about those who don’t look human, or whose powers are more of a curse than a blessing? What about the more “dangerous” mutants? Do you force the cure on them? And how does one decide which mutants are “dangerous”?

Credit: 20th Century Fox

…when The Last Stand focuses on the cure and its implications, it’s no coincidence that this also results in some of the movie’s best scenes. But again, thanks to the Phoenix plot and the hour-and-a-half running time, the cure story also becomes shortchanged…

It’s pretty easy to figure where The Last Stand leans on this, especially once it’s discovered that the U.S. Government has weaponized it without the public’s knowledge. Even so, when The Last Stand focuses on the cure and its implications, it’s no coincidence that this also results in some of the movie’s best scenes. But again, thanks to the Phoenix plot and the hour-and-a-half running time, the cure story also becomes shortchanged, especially with the subplot involving Warren Worthington III/Angel (Ben Foster).

The cure storyline does have a detrimental effect in that it fuels the tacked-on love triangle between Rogue (Anna Paquin), Iceman (Shawn Ashmore) and Kitty Pryde, played by a then young up-and-coming Ellen Page. Having it center around Rogue’s inability to be intimate with Iceman is as cringeworthy as it sounds. Moreover, Rogue’s ultimate decision to take the cure is utterly tone-deaf, made all the more so when you listen to the film’s DVD commentary track and watch the alternate ending.

Also, it didn’t seem to occur to the filmmakers that the cure provides a very simple solution for stopping Jean once she becomes Phoenix. When rewatching the moment Wolverine says to Storm (Halle Barry), “I’m the only one who can stop her,” I said to myself, “What about Leech (Cameron Bright)? You know, the kid who can suppress mutant powers? The one whose DNA was the basis for the cure? The one whom you came to rescue?” Needless to say, it’s the dreaded third act collapsing the movie under its own weight all over again.

There are the faults viewers of the film constantly bring up. There’s the very noticeable sudden shift from day-to-night just before the climactic battle at Alcatraz. Halle Barry’s Storm, despite having more screen time and a larger role, still feels underwhelming. Characters bring up class levels of mutants without any explanation of what they actually mean. And of course, there’s the line from Vinnie Jones that launched a million memes, “I’m the Juggernaut, b****!”

Credit: 20th Century Fox

Parts of [X-Men: The Last Stand] do hold up better after all these years, and it’s still fun to watch, but as a capstone to a potential trilogy, it’s a missed opportunity

What gets overlooked, and better appreciated upon rewatching The Last Stand, are how many good qualities the movie really does have. After two movies, fans finally get their taste of a live-action Danger Room. It’s faster paced and more action oriented than the first two movies. Whenever Jean loses control and starts disintegrating everything around her, particularly the scene at her childhood home, it still manages to convey a frightening display of raw emotion and power. It’s also particularly a treat for those who are fans of Magneto, as viewers finally see just how powerful he can really be, particularly the moment in which he uproots the entire Golden Gate Bridge.

Yet undeniably, the best thing about The Last Stand is Kelsey Grammer as Dr. Hank McCoy, a.k.a. Beast. Beast was originally intended for the first movie, but because of budget constraints, was cut from film; he also had a cameo in X2 and played by a different actor. This time, presented in The Last Stand as the White House’s newly appointed “Secretary of Mutant Affairs,” Grammer’s portrayal of the polysyllabic, erudite, blue-furred gymnast is everything fans could’ve ever hoped for. Even under the very impressive makeup, it’s easy to see that Grammer is having an absolute blast in the role.

All the more disappointing, then, that even as it reaches the heights of comic book spectacle the previous two movies merely scratched, X-Men: The Last Stand doesn’t match them in terms of overall quality. Parts of it do hold up better after all these years, and it’s still fun to watch. But as a capstone to a potential trilogy, it’s a missed opportunity. And although it wasn’t critically well received at the time, it wasn’t the potential death knell to the franchise that some folks thought. That would happen three years later, ironically with the movie devoted entirely to the X-Men’s most popular character.