Spider-Man: Life Story No. 3: A very different Black Costume Saga

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While I understand Aunt May has dementia, it still seems incredulous that she could mistake MJ for Gwen…unless she’s also colorblind and can’t tell the difference between a redhead and a blond.
All right, comic, even though this is an alternate “real-time” Marvel Universe and thus costume changes are a given but…why isn’t Wolverine in his brown and yellow suit? Also, where’s Storm? Is she not a member of the X-Men in this continuity?
Hold on, Doctor Octopus is a super villain again? Isn’t he still married to Aunt May? I guess her developing Alzheimer’s pushed him back over the edge. Even so, for him essentially abandoning his wife when she’s in the midst of a horrible disease is extremely cruel.
Okay, Peter’s 1970’s Spider-Man costume, even though it looked like a rejected design from the PS4 Spider-Man game, did look decent. His 1980’s costume, though? Peter may be a scientific genius, but he has some terrible taste in fashion. And we’re not even in the 1990’s yet, which had some of the worst looking superhero costumes of all time. *Shudder*
What makes Life Story Spider-Man better than the 616 version? Life Story Spider-Man actually created Parker Industries himself instead of taking credit for something Doc Ock built.
How the heck did Rorschach end up in the Marvel Universe? Watchmen Easter Egg notwithstanding, that’s still him carrying “The End is Nigh” sign, right?
“Something’s off…the city is quiet…” Um, Peter? Did you not notice all the police cars, news reporters, and picketers when you returned from Battleworld? That doesn’t exactly suggest a “quiet city.”
Kind of a given Peter and MJ would name their first son after Uncle Ben. But to name their daughter Claire? Not May or Anna? Then again, Claire was also the name of Aunt May’s mother, which means Zdarsky did some serious deep diving in terms of Spider-Man lore.
Explain this one, science whizzes: if the Red Ghost’s nuclear missiles are intangible, what makes them able to still explode upon impact instead of literally moving through the Earth. For that matter, since the Vision can also make himself and others intangible, why didn’t just allow himself and the missile to phase through Allenton, Pennsylvania? Also, if the trauma or nuclear explosion left Vision in a permanent phased state, how can he still be standing on solid ground?
Oh, that’s right, the black costume imitates any form of clothing, including Spider-Man’s classic red and blues. Makes you wonder why Peter never did that in the original comics.
Really? The cops have no idea who Peter is despite the fact that there’s probably pictures of him all over the penthouse, one that rests on top of the company which bears his name. Also, how did the cops know where Aunt May lived given her dementia?
“I don’t need the suit–” You do realize, Pete, that your wife dated an addict for several years? Methinks she knows an addict when she sees one.
“[Kraven’s] not even one of my bad guys with powers!” Actually, Pete, he does it. Did you forget that he takes that weird jungle potion which enhances his strength and speed and slows down the aging process? That’s why he only looks like he’s in his late sixties when he’s probably pushing eighty.
Ah, not only do we get Spidey’s grave from “Kraven’s Last Hunt,” it seems the creative team have marked out their own grave plots. A little morbid but, okay.
Well, at least this comic has “Venom” début in the right decade even if off by four years.
Okay, I know some of you are likely blaming MJ leaving Peter and taking their kids with her, but honestly? What else can she do? How does Peter expect her to take care of Aunt May when she’s trying to take care of their own kids? How does he think he can take care of Aunt May while he’s Spider-Man and running his own company? Also, it’s not like he isn’t aware of the fact that he’s neglecting his own family, either. And keep in mind, he’s still doing this even after he’s nearly died.
Okay, wow! Didn’t expect the ending of “Kraven’s Last Hunt” to be subverted like that. Plus, of all the possible hosts for Venom, Kraven is definitely an odd choice.

Next. Stillanerd Reviews: Spider-Man: Life Story No. 2. dark

Oh boy, it’s the infamous 1990’s for the next Spider-Man: Life Story. Does that mean Zdarsky will give us another Clone Saga? A Maximum Carnage? More KraVenom? Also, will the Soviet Union still exist in this universe given how things escalated? Will the comic take place in 1992 or 1994? What about Peter’s kids? How do you think they’ll turn out? Do you think he and MJ will get back together, or might we see in him dating this universe’s version of the Black Cat?

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